


An Unexpected Christmas Present

by baylisself



Series: Felix Fraldarius - Sagas [2]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Demisexuality, Felix is a demisexual, M/M, Prostitution, Slow Burn, no beta we die like Glenn, no smut until later chapters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-07
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:34:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21699328
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baylisself/pseuds/baylisself
Summary: I’m sendin ur xmas gift via delvry. Comin at 8pm, ring em in ok?Sylvain sends his friend Felix a surprise "Christmas present", but things don't go quite as anyone had planned.
Relationships: Ashe Duran | Ashe Ubert/Felix Hugo Fraldarius
Series: Felix Fraldarius - Sagas [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564111
Comments: 11
Kudos: 86





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> E rated content is not until later chapters. This started as a Kinktober prompt (prostitution) but it ended up going in a different direction and I want to make several chapters, so I moved it to it's own work (sorry!)

Felix heard the ding of his phone when he arrived home, but he pointedly ignored it, leaving his cell on the counter and stripping off his work clothes. Sylvain had been texting him all day, a constant stream of little messages that seemed entirely devoid of meaning or purpose on the surface. But it was clear enough what he was doing, and Felix had had enough. He was tired and incredibly annoyed, and he wanted nothing more than to take a shower and collapse on the couch for a few hours, preferably with no contact from the outside world.

Therefore, having missed the one message from Sylvain that actually mattered, he was entirely unprepared when his doorbell rang. He was still drying off from his shower, droplets of water pooling around his feet and his wet hair resting on a towel around his shoulders. “What the fuck?” he groaned, the relaxation from his shower wiped away at the persistent chirp from his door buzzer. “Who is it?” he barked into the speaker.

“Delivery for Mr. Fraldarius from Mr. Gautier!” a voice said brightly, the tone instantly grating on every remaining nerve in Felix’s body. 

“Hold on,” he replied. He grabbed his phone to call Sylvain, and finally saw the pertinent text: _I’m sendin ur xmas gift via delvry. Comin at 8pm, ring em in ok?_

Felix squeezed his eyes shut and gritted his teeth, wondering what he had done in this world to be cursed with such an aggravating friend. Why was he sending a gift that had to be personally delivered, and at 8 o’clock at night on Christmas Eve to boot? Also, Felix was not feeling too great about the fact that Sylvain hadn’t even checked if he would be home first – he just *knew* Felix wouldn’t have any plans. 

He grabbed a t-shirt and sweats and buzzed the delivery person in. He tossed the towel back in the bathroom, his damp hair hanging loosely, clinging to his neck. He stood staring at the door until a light rap came, and he wrenched it open, glaring fiercely at whatever innocent delivery person had dared to accept Sylvain’s delivery. 

The delivery man wore a pointy Santa hat and a long dark coat. There were freckles scattered across his face and snowflakes slowly melting on his eyelashes. His cheeks were flushed red from the cold, the rosy color accentuated by the fluffy white of the hat trim. He was smiling jovially and was practically radiating holiday cheer. 

“Hi there! My name’s Ashe!” he said, chipper as could be. 

Felix grimaced; what a freaking nightmare. This time of year was exhausting and this was the last kind of thing Felix wanted to deal with right now. Stupid Sylvain and his stupid worrying. “That’s nice for you. Where’s the gift? Let’s get this over with.”

Ashe looked a bit surprised, but continued bravely onwards. “Well, it’s not really something I can deliver out here. Can I come in?”

Felix narrowed his eyes, looking at Ashe’s hands – there was nothing in them, although there was a small bag slung over his shoulder. What kind of present was this? “You aren’t going to start dancing or singing, are you?” he asked. Knowing Sylvain, that was definitely a possibility.

Ashe grinned. “No, no, I’m not very good at singing. I mean, if you want me to, I guess I could try.”

“Please don’t,” Felix said, allowing him in. Ashe walked into the room and gaped, turning in a circle and staring.

“Wow! Did you rent this room just for tonight? That’s amazing!” he exclaimed.

Felix blinked at him in confusion, “Er, what? Why would I do that? I live here.”

Ashe turned and shook his head at Felix. “No way. No one lives here. There’s no furniture or anything,” he said matter-of-factly, glancing around the room as though his observation was the only possible explanation for the sparse furnishings. Ashe’s face was soft, but there was an edge to his eyes, as though he was seeing a lot more than he let on, and Felix shifted uncomfortably. 

“That’s… not true. I have a couch and a TV,” he said, wondering why exactly he was having an argument with a stranger about whether or not he actually lived in his own apartment.

Ashe looked skeptically around the huge room. “But… it’s so big! And on the top floor! Why is it so… empty?”

Felix clicked his tongue in irritation. He didn’t need some delivery boy telling him how lonely-looking his apartment was - an unspoken judgement about his lifestyle. “You’re awfully nosy for a delivery guy, aren’t you? Just give me my package and get out,” he snapped. 

He expected Ashe to fumble at his sharp tone, but instead his face brightened. With a flashing smile, he pulled off his coat and dropped it on the floor. He was wearing a tiny red thong with white fluffy trim, and a red ribbon was wrapped around him, ending in an elaborately tied bow on his chest. He put one hand on his hip, popping it out, and threw the other one in the air. “Ta-da!” he announced.

For one terrible moment, time seemed to stop and Felix stood frozen, staring with his mouth wide open in shock. Ashe twirled slowly, like some kind of Christmas-themed human disco ball and Felix could _feel_ a thundering pounding sound in his head, growing steadily. “Like what you see?” Ashe giggled, finally stopping his spinning.

Time restarted and Felix gasped in a breath and stumbled backwards, throwing his hand over his eyes. “What the FUCK!” he yelped. “Holy fucking shit!” His face was hot under his hand and he was certain it was bright red. “What are you *doing*?”

He felt fingers on his arm, trying to pry it away from his eyes. “It’s ok! Sylvain already paid! I didn’t mean to startle you,” Ashe said.

The words echoed dumbly around in Felix’s head. Sylvain. Paid. For what exactly? For this? Was this situation what Felix thought it was? It had to be, right? There weren’t a whole lot of ways to interpret a mostly-naked man appearing in your house and prancing around like some kind of angelic, fur-trimmed Santa-stripper. Felix was going to get this guy out of here and then he was going to track down Sylvain, and then he was going to *murder him*.

Ashe was still trying to pry his hand away and Felix peered at him through his fingers. Ashe was still 99% naked, and Felix snapped his hand back shut. “P…put your coat back on… for fuck’s sake.” Ashe let go of him, and he heard clothes rustling. He finally looked again, and Ashe was sitting on the floor, cross-legged, with his coat hung loosely around his shoulders, but wide open in the front, where it actually *mattered*.

Felix groaned, putting his head in his hands and leaning back against the wall. Ashe started chattering nervously, “I’m sorry Felix, do you not like the outfit? Sylvain said you would love it! But I can just take it off… or, whatever you’d like!”

“Sylvain picked the outfit?” Felix asked incredulously. Murder would be too easy for him then. Too quick, too painless - he deserved much more. First, Felix would torture him, and THEN he would murder him.

Ashe spoke again, more softly, with an edge of worry. “Or am I just not your type? I… I really need this job, I’m really good! I’m sure if you give me a chance, I can make you happy!”

Felix finally dropped his hands and stared at Ashe. His thin coat looked a bit thread-bare in places and goosebumps were scattered across his torso. There were fading bruises on his chest - yellow and blue, trailing down his sides and legs. His hips stuck out too far and Felix could see bones in places that shouldn’t be visible.

Sylvain and Felix’s relationship was often strained by Sylvain’s tendency towards teasing pranks and Felix’s stern over-reactions. But Sylvain had never pushed it like this before - he’d gone too far. Now he’d involved an outsider, one that apparently desperately needed this “job”. Felix didn’t feel comfortable sending this kid back into the snowy cold empty-handed.

“Damn you, Sylvain,” he whispered to himself before crossing his arms and sighing at Ashe. “Alright. Ok.” He took several deep breaths, in through his nose, out through his mouth. He never imagined in a million years that he would be in this situation and he was woefully unprepared on how to proceed. “I’m sorry Ashe, but Sylvain was just joking around. Tell me how much he promised you and I’ll pay you instead. Then you can just go.”

Ashe shook his head. “No way, I can’t do that. Sylvain already paid me and I won’t take money for doing nothing… that would be wrong. Besides, I don’t know Sylvain well or anything, but I don’t think he was joking. He seemed pretty serious – he wanted you to have company for Christmas! He even paid the holiday rate! Although I’m not sure why – you’re a really handsome guy, I’m sure you wouldn’t have trouble finding company!”

Felix raised his eyebrows in consternation. There were several concerning things in what Ashe had just said, and he wasn’t sure where to start. First off, Ashe had mentioned Christmas, but Christmas wasn’t until tomorrow. “How long did he pay for?” Felix asked uneasily.

“A full 24 hours! I’ve never been booked for a whole day before! I’m really excited, and I’m sure if you just give me a chance, I can make you feel amazing. Like I said before, I’m good at this, you’ll see!” Ashe said confidently.

Felix closed his eyes and bumped his head onto the wall, thumping it there for a moment, trying to sift through his thoughts. He’d thought this was just an elaborate prank by Sylvain, trying in his own dumb way to cheer Felix up by placing him in an outrageously embarrassing situation, as he had done so many times before. But it was becoming clear that this was something else – this was another side of Sylvain that Felix found even MORE frustrating. The caring, worrying side of his friend that had been checking on Felix throughout the day, making sure he was really ok, as though Felix would fall apart into a million pieces the second Sylvain left town. 

Sylvain had been acting odd all week, needlessly stressing over Felix spending his first Christmas alone, with no friends, no family. Sylvain had invited him to come home with him, to share Christmas with Mercedes and the kids. Felix had gone last year, and had been enveloped in a warm cloud of love and belonging: Mercedes’ soothing words and delicious snacks; the kids’ off-key singing and frolicking through the house; the spirit of friendship in every exchange, every movement, every shared smile; the smell of cinnamon and pine needles, rich in every room; the sound of laughter and presents being ripped open, excited chattering and giggles filling the house.

It was a heavy, cloying feeling, and it had clung around Felix, building until he felt as though he couldn’t breathe. It wasn’t where he belonged, it wasn’t who he was. He’d never felt more cared for - and more miserable in his life. It left him feeling nauseated and dizzy, a sense of discomfort and longing for something more ached inside of him. He’d refused the invitation this year, and Sylvain had gone into a weird kind of frenzied panic at the thought of his friend being alone on the “most important day of the year”. 

Felix couldn’t be angry – Sylvain meant well. He just couldn’t understand that Felix was fine being alone, and wasn’t interested in casual relationships. Sylvain had always played around, hooking up with a variety of girls and guys, “falling in love” with a new person each week. He’d changed when he met Mercedes and Felix thought that perhaps he would finally understand Felix’s own point of view, but it hadn’t worked out that way. Sylvain still tried to hook Felix up with every guy that passed their paths, desperately hoping that Felix would find the kind of happiness that he had found with Mercedes.

As teenagers, Felix had always thought that he was the “normal” one and that Sylvain was just some kind of sex-crazed idiot. But during college, things had become clearer and reality had crystalized into something that Felix hadn’t expected. He’d discovered that it was *he* that saw things differently, *he* was the outlier. Yes, Sylvain played around more than other guys – quite a bit more, to be sure. But Felix was so far the opposite direction on the spectrum that he wasn’t even sure if they were on the same scale of measurement.

Felix had found guys attractive before, but it was a fleeting observance. The kind of feeling one would get when passing by a lovely painting. A brief “oh how nice, how beautiful”, and nothing more. There were never any thoughts of a… *sexual* nature. When prompted to think that way by Sylvain, Felix would feel weird and wiggly inside - a feeling somewhere between disgusted and confused and frustrated. Sylvain had asked him which crushes he thought about when he masturbated and Felix had just looked at him, a crumpled ball of muddled misery growing inside of him. He didn’t think of anyone like that. No one at all.

Felix knew he was different, and it wasn’t something he wanted to talk about – not with his friends, not with Sylvain, and most *definitely* not with a mostly-naked stranger he’d just met, offering him sex in his own apartment.

Ashe cleared his throat and Felix realized he had been glaring at the poor kid for several minutes, his arms crossed and his foot tapping angrily. He relaxed his body and tried to curl his lip up into a smile, but it was probably closer to a sneer. “Ashe, there’s been a tragic misunderstanding. You can’t stay here.” 

Ashe’s face fell, and he bit his lip, almost looking like he was going to cry. Felix found himself stumbling - he was used to his friends pushing back against him harshly - he wasn’t prepared for tears. “I mean, uh...that is - it’s all Sylvain’s fault. It’s nothing to do with you!”

“Oh.” Ashe nodded, and sniffled. “Um, ok... I understand. I’ll just, uh… go then. I’ll find Sylvain and pay him back. Sorry.” he trudged towards the door, his shoulders slouched, and Felix felt like a complete asshole. 

“Fuck,” he hissed. “Do you have someplace to stay tonight?” he spit out, knowing he was making a mistake in asking.

Ashe paused. “Why do you care?”

“Are you even 18? You look like a teenager.”

Ashe bristled and turned back. “Of course I am! I’m 25!”

Felix rolled his eyes. “I don’t believe you. There’s no way you’re my age.”

Ashe rustled in his bag and handed his ID to Felix. He scrutinized it, occasionally glancing at Ashe’s face carefully. Finally he tossed it back. “Unbelievable. Astonishing, really.” Felix massaged the bridge of his nose, a headache beginning to form across his temple. “I can’t think when you’re… like this,” he gestured vaguely at Ashe. “Put some real clothes on.”

Ashe frowned. “Um, I… didn’t actually bring any other clothes,” he said.

Felix stared in dismay. “You were… just going to wear that the whole time?”

Ashe shrugged. “Actually, I figured I wouldn’t be wearing anything at all. That’s usually how it ends up, you know.” 

Felix felt a twinge of something in his chest, and he turned on his heel, marching to his bedroom. “Well, goodbye then!” Ashe shouted after him, and Felix clenched his fists, knowing he would regret this. 

“Just… stay there for one minute.” Ashe’s eyes widened and he nodded, as Felix retreated to his bedroom. He didn’t have a lot of extra clothes – his wardrobe was sparse and functional. But he did have a small box of clothes leftover from college he had been meaning to take to the local charity, but hadn’t yet found the time. He pulled it out with a grunt and returned to the living room, dropping the box at Ashe’s feet. “Find something there that you can wear.”

Ashe opened his mouth, a question clearly on his lips, but Felix glared at him and Ashe swallowed instead, kneeling and sifting through the clothes. He pulled out a t-shirt, a fluffy sweater, and a pair of leggings. He pulled off the bow from his chest, dropping it unceremoniously on the ground, and pulled on the new clothes. They had been snug on Felix and Ashe was the same height, but the clothes hung loosely on him, swamping his small frame. 

Ashe looked up at him, clearly confused. “Is… this ok?” he asked.

“Better.” Felix nodded. “If you’re going to stay here tonight, you need to keep your clothes on.”

Ashe’s eyes lit up and he sounded giddy. “I can stay? I’ll do whatever you want! And I do mean *whatever* you want,” he winked coyly.

Felix grunted. “None of that, either. I’m not interested, so just drop it.”

Ashe tilted his head, looking at Felix, and Felix got the feeling that he was being carefully evaluated. “What do you want to do then? You’ve got 24 whole hours.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ashe POV for the first half, Felix for the second.

Ashe hadn’t grown up with the kind of lifestyle that afforded a lackadaisical approach to things. He’d done a lot of things that he hadn’t particularly *wanted* to do, but were necessary to survive. One of the most important skills he’d picked up along the way was to read the room and the people in it, while maintaining an innocent and carefree expression. Luckily he had the kind of face that led people to trust him on sight, because being able to pick up on people’s true intentions was a critical safety skill in his current line of work. He wasn’t as experienced as some of his more jaded colleagues, but he’d been in plenty of situations before where his quick wit and keen observations had kept him from getting into trouble.

That said, he was having a difficult with his current client – Felix wasn’t responding like Ashe expected. The signals Felix was sending were all wrong, although not dangerous. At first, Ashe had thought he was just shy or playing hard-to-get. But the more eagerly persistent Ashe acted, the more Felix pulled away in dismay. And honestly, Ashe was a bit disappointed. Felix was damned attractive and Ashe probably would have hit on him outside of his job. Getting paid to do it was like an extra bonus. Except it wasn’t working out that way and Ashe practically had to beg to avoid being kicked out. He wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed. 

“What do you want to do then? You’ve got 24 whole hours,” he asked, studying Felix for clues.

“Food. You need food,” Felix responded instantly.

“Oh, you’re hungry?” Ashe grinned, leaning forward. Felix glared at him and Ashe felt the pang of confusion go through him again.

“Don’t get any *weird* ideas. I just don’t want you dropping dead from starvation halfway through the night.”

Ashe stared at him. “Was that… a joke?”

Felix shrugged and crossed his arms. “Dealing with a corpse on Christmas would be… troublesome.”

Ashe’s eyes widened and a little laugh slipped out before he covered his mouth with his hand. He couldn’t help it – Felix looked so serious. “Sorry... you just look so…” Ashe cleared his throat. “Uh… I can cook us something if you want – I’m actually a really good cook!”

Felix raised his eyebrows and looked Ashe up and down. “Are you sure about that? Do you eat your own cooking? I think I’ll pass.”

Ashe’s mouth fell open and he burst into a fit of giggles. Felix looked away, tapping his foot in annoyance. But the edge of his lip was curved up and the tension between them dropped a notch. “Wow Felix, you’re really funny. I wasn’t expecting that. I promise I am a good cook though! Let me make you something and you’ll see.”

“I don’t have… “ Felix hesitated, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “That is, I’m not sure if I have any groceries.”

If there was one thing Ashe was good at, it was making decent food out of cheap scraps. “Don’t worry; I’m sure I can throw something together. Let’s see what you’ve got. Where’s the kitchen?”

Felix pointed at a door, but his body had tensed again, and Ashe wasn’t sure what he’d done to change the mood. This was going to be a difficult evening. He pushed open the kitchen door and froze in shock.

“Oh... my god,” he squeaked. It was the kind of dream kitchen one would see in home design magazine, idly perusing at a doctor’s office and wistful thinking _“must be nice”_ , or _“someday”_. It was especially out of place considering Felix’s sparse living room. Ashe wandered around admiring things, feeling dazed. “This is such a nice kitchen!” Felix shrugged, looking uninterested. “Are you like a professional chef or something?”

Felix made a low scoffing sound. “Not remotely.”

Ashe motioned around the room. “Well, what’s all this then?” 

Felix shrugged again, and sat down on a stool at a section of the counter that jutted out from the wall, forming a peninsula. “I don’t know. I didn’t design it,” he said.

“That much is obvious,” Ashe muttered under his breath, biting his lip to keep in the scathing remark burning in his throat. Sometimes life really wasn’t fair. He went to the fridge instead, to see what he had to work with. There were several plates with reusable plastic covers neatly stacked - probably leftovers – and a few scattered condiments and a carton of almond milk. He pulled out the drawers, looking for more, but there was nothing.

“Huh, you weren’t kidding about having no food. There are only leftovers,” Ashe said, setting a few of the plates on the counter to uncover. There was a small card taped to each lid, with reheating instructions. Ashe thought that was kind of weird - Felix must be really organized. Ashe removed the first lid and looked at the contents. “Uh…”

Felix sighed deeply. “Those aren’t leftovers actually. I use a chef service.”

An “oh” popped out of Ashe. This wasn’t mushy leftovers, scooped into a sloppy pile and thrown on a plate. It was a gourmet meal. Felix’s uncomfortable demeanor when Ashe had suggested cooking dinner made sense now. If this was all he had, of course he wouldn’t want Ashe to see. Felix hadn’t even expected Ashe’s arrival – naturally he wouldn’t be happy about having to feed some stranger an expensive meal.

“Actually, I’m not hungry,” Ashe said firmly, putting the lid back on and biting the inside of his lip.

Felix frowned. “There are other options if you don’t like that one.”

“Oh no, don’t worry about it! I just wanted to cook you something cheap,” Ashe said cheerfully, trying to move the conversation forward, past this uncomfortable situation.

“Sorry I don’t have any other food. I don’t… uh, I don’t cook,” said with a rough voice.

Ashe looked at Felix curiously and the tops of his cheeks were dusted pink and he wouldn’t meet Ashe’s eyes. “Are you… embarrassed?” Ashe asked without thinking.

“No! Maybe. I don’t know,” Felix said, glancing at Ashe quickly and looking away just as fast. “Shut up and just pick something to eat. Fuck.”

Ashe turned dumbly back to the plate, feeling lost. Why would Felix be ashamed of the food? It didn’t make any sense – the meal looked amazing. A piece of fish was perched atop a small mound of mixed grains, accentuated with tiny red berries and lightly drizzled with a burgundy sauce. There was a semi-circle of vegetables delicately arranged along the edge of the plate. Each slice of vegetable was cut evenly, vibrant greens and yellows. Ashe considered himself to be a good cook, but he’d never been very good at the aesthetic aspect of plating. This was extremely professional looking and a lot of care had obviously gone into its preparation. “It’s so beautiful,” he whispered. 

“It’s just food,” Felix said. 

Ashe bristled. “How can you say that? Arranging food like this is an art form! I mean just look at it! Your mouth waters at the sight and you can’t help but imagine how delicious it’s going to be. You’re drawn in, engaged by your expectations and your desire for the meal. Your whole dining experience is enhanced. Don’t you see?” He held the plate out to Felix in excitement.

“Uh…” Felix blinked at him a few times and then studied the plate. “Maybe?”

Ashe sighed deeply, exasperated, and moved on to look at the other plates. They were all different, and all equally as stunning. “It almost seems sacrilegious to heat this in a microwave,” Ashe said, holding one of the dishes reverently.

“It’s just food. I don’t think you’re going to hurt its feelings.”

Ashe rolled his eyes. “I meant that it’s disrespectful to the chef. They obviously worked hard, and there’s no way it’s going to be as good as it should be like this.” 

Felix made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a laugh. “What?” Ashe asked, looking up at him.

Felix was grinning, and Ashe was startled at how different his face looked. The straight lines along his jaw had softened, the stern look fading into something almost kind, and his sharp eyes had melted into a warm glow. Ashe swallowed thickly at the realization that while Felix had been pretty handsome before, he was positively stunning now. 

“You sound just like Dedue, the chef that made these,” Felix explained. “He used to give me long instructions on how to reheat things in the oven so it would taste the best. He got really angry that I kept microwaving everything.” Felix chuckled and shrugged. “He gives me microwave instructions now.”

Ashe gasped, torn between horror and excitement. “You know the chef that made these? Like personally? And you made him give you *microwave instructions*?”

Felix laughed again, and Ashe watched with fascination. “He’s an old friend, yes.”

Ashe looked back at the plates with shining eyes. “Wow, I’d love to meet a chef with this much skill someday. I’d be able to learn so much by watching them work.”

“Hmm, I’m sure that could be arranged next time. He’d probably like you a lot, actually,” Felix said.

Ashe snapped his eyes back to Felix at the same time that Felix seemed to realize what he had just said. His body stiffened and his eyes narrowed in shock. “I didn’t mean…”

Ashe turned abruptly, popping the plate into the microwave. He began blithely chattering, a nervous habit he had in stressful situations. “I’ve always been really interested in cooking. I actually work at a restaurant during the day, but nothing as fancy as this. I love being a cook, it’s so challenging and fulfilling. I’m just a beginner really – there’s tons of different areas of expertise.” He paused to take a breath and glanced at Felix. The shocked look had faded and he was focused on Ashe again.

“If you work in a restaurant, then why….” Felix trailed off, leaving the end of the question unasked.

Ashe chuckled. “Well, my brother and sister are both in college. Gotta pay the bills somehow, you know?”

“That’s it?” Felix asked.

“What do you mean, that’s it? Textbooks are fucking expensive,” Ashe grumbled.

“No, I mean, you’re not into drugs or deeply in debt or something?”

Ashe choked at Felix’s brutal honesty. “Wow, uh - no drugs, I’m totally clean. I get tested regularly too, if you want to …” Felix’s look darkened and Ashe veered directions. “Anyways, who the heck *isn’t* in debt, these days? My brother and sister are really smart and they work super hard at their studies. So I’m going to give them every advantage I can - that’s what big brothers do, right?”

Felix let out a little huff of air, his face suddenly expressionless. 

Ashe prattled on throughout the meal, relishing each delicious bite, while Felix sat in silence, occasionally picking at his own plate. “Did I say something wrong?” Ashe finally asked.

“No… it’s just…” Felix paused, slowly twirling the fork in his fingers, as though carefully considering his words. “It’s nothing,” he finally said.

“Are you sure?” Ashe asked softly, tilting his head to the side.

Felix dropped the fork to the plate with a clatter. “I had an older brother once. He was murdered. You just took me by surprise.” Felix glanced at him, giving a small smile. “Like I said, it’s ok. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Ashe said, flustered.

“No.” Felix barked, taking Ashe by surprise. “Don’t be,” he continued, lowering his voice. “Everyone avoids the topic like it’s some kind of forbidden taboo or something. But it’s not. I… I don’t mind talking about him.” Felix tapped his fingers on the countertop.

Ashe watched him for a few moments. “Huh. You know, I lost both of my parents when I was young. My adoptive parents never talked about them – I think they were scared of how I’d react. My siblings were too young, but I still remember them. So I guess I know what you mean. If we never talk about those we’ve lost, it’s almost like they never existed. And that’s a real shame, isn’t it?” Felix turned to him, his eyes widening. “I’d like to hear about your brother, if you want to talk about him.”

*******

The sun was shining when Felix awoke - its light blistering through his closed eyes. He groaned, covering his face with his pillow. He was always an early riser, usually waking well before dawn and heading to the gym before continuing on to work. He must have overslept if the sun was shining. He rolled over and groggily sat upright, grabbing his cell phone and staring at the clock in confusion. 9:34 am? What the fuck? He blinked several times, waiting for his vision to clear. But the time stayed steady, and there was a message from Sylvain waiting for him:

_Merry Xmas! Did you like your gift? ;p ;p ;p ;p ;p_

_Holy shit!_ Today was Christmas, and Felix was not alone. Images of the previous night flooded his mind and he jumped up, almost crashing to the ground with his leg tangled in the sheet, and stumbling until he’d freed himself. How had he forgotten? 

After dinner, they’d talked for a long time and then watched some awful romantic comedy that Ashe had wanted to see. Ashe had turned it off halfway through when Felix kept grimacing at the kissing scenes. Instead they’d played Mario Kart, Felix completely crushing Ashe and Ashe complaining loudly that he’d never played before, and that he would definitely win next time. That tomorrow he’d do better.

It hadn’t been a terrible time. Kind of fun, actually. Relaxing on the couch and just… existing together. It wasn’t an atmosphere Felix had experienced with his other friends. Ingrid was busy with her own life, and only visited for short durations. Dimitri was careful and stiff around Felix and they usually just uneasily avoided each other. Sylvain was better, but he was so damned concerned and caring that Felix felt like he couldn’t be honest with him. That Sylvain was evaluating every word he spoke.

There were none of those pretenses with Ashe. No fakeness, no need to pretend. Ashe had sat on the far side of the couch, not trying to squish against Felix like Sylvain always did. It was… comfortable. Nice. Ashe had continued to chatter while they played, discussing all kinds of things. Everything from silly childhood antics to what kinds of things they should do tomorrow. He’d suggested that they go buy some Christmas decorations, and Felix had begrudgingly agreed. Hours had passed, Ashe breaking into a fit of ridiculous giggles every time he managed to blue-shell Felix, announcing brazenly that he was going to win this time! 

Now it was morning and Felix threw a robe on over his sleep clothes and hesitated at the bedroom door. He’d left Ashe with a blanket and pillow on the couch. He’d probably still be asleep, right? Felix slipped into the hallway and furtively peeked into the living room, uncomfortably feeling like an interloper spying in his own apartment. 

The couch was empty, the blanket folded neatly and the pillow propped on top of it. Felix turned slowly, moving through the apartment, checking the bathroom and kitchen, but there was no sign of Ashe. He was gone.

Felix stared at the empty couch for several minutes, his thoughts veering in different directions. Part of it was whirling rapidly – Ashe had left sometime during the night. Of course he had, he was a prostitute that Sylvain had found on the fucking street. What else had Felix expected? Felix had left an envelope of money on the coffee table with a scribbled “Merry Christmas” on the outside, telling Ashe it was his Christmas present, since he had nothing else to give. It was gone, naturally. Had he taken anything else? Stolen anything? It had probably been foolish leaving him alone during the night, but then again, Felix didn’t really have anything of value to steal. One of the benefits of his sparse lifestyle.

The other part of his mind moved sluggishly, slowly exploring the memories from the previous night, wondering if he’d done something wrong. He’d really thought Ashe would still be here. They’d had fun, hadn’t they? Like friends? Felix was almost looking forward to today. Almost. There was a strange feeling tickling the edge of his mind, almost like… disappointment?

How stupid.

He went to the kitchen and turned on the coffee machine, staring dully at the plates on the counter. Ashe had cleaned and dried them. He’d been so fucking ecstatic about the food last night – he should have eaten one more meal before he left. Felix wouldn’t have minded. It all tasted like sawdust to him anyways.

Felix took a few sips of coffee and then slammed his mug onto the counter, feeling irritated. It cracked, coffee splashing out and spilling onto the ground. “Fuck!” he cried, moving back, one foot slipping on the edge of the puddle. Wetness soaked into one of his socks and he recoiled, curling his lip unpleasantly. He pulled off the sock and threw it onto the floor, muttering and looking for a sponge.

His phone chirped and he whirled, grabbing it off the counter. “What the fuck is it now?” he grumbled. _“Merry Christmas Felix. I hope you are having a good day”_ said the message from Dimitri.

_“Fuck off”_ Felix typed, pressing send and immediately regretting it. He squeezed his eyes shut and massaged his temple with his fingertips. Dimitri was going to call him now, he was certain. And then Sylvain. No doubt. 

He sighed deeply and silenced his phone. The coffee was still dripping onto the floor, and he resumed his search for a sponge. If only all messes he made could be cleaned up so easily, swept aside and forgotten.

****

It was almost two hours later when Felix’s doorbell rang. “Oh fuck,” he hissed, suddenly realizing that he hadn’t turned his phone back on. Sylvain was out of town… did that mean it was Dimitri? He’d rather see pretty much anyone on the planet. Maybe if he just didn’t answer Dimitri would give up and go away? But the bell soon came again and he sighed and buzzed him in. He slouched on the couch and crossed his arms in resignation. He’d done this to himself. Now he had to face the consequences. 

A cheerful voice burst through the door, “I’m baaaacck! Merry Christmas!” Ashe entered the room backwards, awkwardly trying to pull the door closed with his knee and foot, his hands full of assorted bags. 

Felix gawked at him. “What the fuck?”

Ashe turned and beamed at him. “I said Merry Christmas! I went shopping and then I realized I couldn’t get back in without you buzzing me in.” He tilted his head, blushing. “Pretty dumb, huh? Anyways, I didn’t want to wake you up, so I waited downstairs for a while.” He turned and shuffled into the kitchen with the bags. 

Felix stared at the kitchen door, slack-jawed. “Hey, why is there a sock on the floor?” Ashe called, and Felix jolted upright, marching into the kitchen.

_“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”_ or _“I didn’t think you were coming back”_ or _“Why the fuck would you wait downstairs – just wake me up”_ or even just _“Merry Christmas, I’m glad to see you”_ were all perfectly reasonable things Felix wanted to say, things he *meant* to say. But instead, what came out was “Why did you come back?”

“Oh,” Ashe said, and he looked down. “Uh, should I not have come back?”

“No, that’s not…” Felix pinched the bridge of his nose. “That’s not what I meant. I just… I didn’t think you were coming back.”

“We had plans for today, didn’t we?” Ashe asked. “Also, you only have one sock on,” Ashe said, and Felix squinted at the non-sequitur.

“Ok?”

“Why?”

“It… doesn’t matter,” Felix said, flustered, moving the bare foot back behind the other sheepishly.

“Are you mad that I came back? It hasn’t even been 24 hours yet,” Ashe said and winked.

The words echoed around in Felix’s mind, and although he’d wished earlier that Ashe would come back, he suddenly very much wanted him gone. It was much worse for him to be here because he had to be. “Look Ashe, I think you should go. It’s Christmas – you should be with your brother and sister, not wasting time here. Don’t worry about the 24 hours thing, I’ll tell Sylvain you stayed and did a great job, ok?”

Ashe didn’t move. “But I bought food. I wanted to cook for you,” he said softly.

“Why? I already have food.”

Ashe frowned, his face crumpling into a pout. “I can’t figure out if you’re an asshole or just an idiot.” He shuffled through one of the bags and shoved a package at Felix. “I got this for you. Merry Christmas,” and he stormed out of the room.

Felix gaped at the package in his hands – it was a cheaply wrapped canvas, with a kitten laying languidly next to a teapot on a checkered tablecloth. It was wrapped in plastic, a discount sticker stuck in the corner. He heard the door slam in the other room and he whirled, running after him without thinking. He paused long enough to grab his coat and keys, and swung open the door.

Ashe was still in the hall, leaning against one of the walls and looking down. He jerked his head up when he heard Felix, and swiped a hand across his eyes.

“Wait,” Felix said.

Ashe quickly looked him up and down. “Were you going to chase after me?” he asked incredulously.

“Yes.”

“Carrying that package?” Ashe asked and Felix realized he was still holding Ashe’s gift.

“Uh… I guess,” he said.

“With one fucking bare foot?” Ashe pointed at Felix’s feet.

Felix looked down in shock. “Oh, apparently so.”

Ashe made a soft chuffing sound that grew louder, bubbling into a giggle. Felix's lip curled into a smirk, making Ashe laugh more, until he was bending over, holding his stomach in hysterics. “Oh my god… Felix,” he panted out, in-between breaths, “I really wish I had seen that.”

Felix rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Fine, fine. Laugh all you want. Just come back inside so we can talk, will you?”

Ashe squinted at him suspiciously. “Why should I?” he asked, his voice defiant.

“Alright, I deserve that. I’m not good at this kind of thing, so just…” he grunted and leaned against the wall. “I was… confused when you were gone this morning. But I don’t want you to stay just because you were paid to do so. And now you seem really upset. Why? Why did you use the money I gave you to buy food and a present for me?”

Ashe snorted. “So ‘idiot’ is in then. Got it. I’m ready to go back inside now, come on.” He walked past Felix, grabbing his wrist and pulling him back inside, and Felix did not protest.

****

The day went by quickly, and it was long past 24 hours when Ashe finally gathered up to go. Felix stood next to him by the door, as he pulled on his coat. He’d tried to give back the clothes Felix had lent him, but Felix had insisted he keep them.

The coat finally on, Ashe turned and smiled at Felix. Felix couldn’t meet his eyes, and he felt weirdly nervous. Would he ever see Ashe again? It didn’t matter, right? But it did. It definitely did.

“Can I kiss you, Felix?” Ashe asked softly.

“No,” Felix stammered, “I… uh… no, I’m sorry,” he finished weakly.

“Don’t be sorry. It’s ok,” Ashe said and smiled at him again and turned to leave.

“Could I hire you to come again?” Felix finally blurted.

Ashe turned back and shook his head. “No, I’m sorry.”

Felix nodded slowly, blinking and trying to swallow the lump in his throat. “Ok, I understand.” He wondered if Ashe would agree to come back if he kissed him. He wondered if he should try.

Ashe opened the door and Felix opened his mouth to speak, but Ashe spoke first. “But I’d be happy to come back anytime to hang out as friends, if that’s ok? No charge,” Ashe said and winked at Felix’s expression. “I already left my cell number on a piece of paper in the kitchen for you,” he added and closed the door, leaving Felix behind, staring dumbfounded with his mouth open.


End file.
